Introduction 
“The Work” of Byron Katie is a way to identify and challenge the unhelpful thoughts that cause much of our unhappiness, anxiety and depression. These are the same feelings people try to escape using drugs and alcohol as a form of self medication. The all too familiar end result is addiction. “The work” of Byron Katie provides a tool to realize peace with ourselves, others and the world. Anyone, with an open mind will benefit from participating in the work. At a comprehensive drug rehab program like Cold Creek Wellness Center, “The Work” is one of many therapies we use to help our clients overcome alcohol and drug addiction.
About “The Work”
In her early thirties Byron Katie spent two years living in a half way house for women with eating disorders. During this difficult time she rarely left her bed. She was clinically depressed and obsessed with suicide. Then, according to Katie, she experienced a life-changing realization: “I discovered that when I believed my thoughts, I suffered, but when I didn’t believe them, I didn’t suffer, and that this is true for every human being. Freedom is as simple as that. I found that suffering is optional. I found a joy within me that has never disappeared, not for a single moment.”
She realized when she believed something should be different than it actually was; For example: “My children should appreciate me,” “My husband should love me more,” she suffered. When she did not believe these thoughts she felt peace. She concluded that the world around her was not the cause of her depression; instead it was what she believed about the world around her. At that moment, she realized that instead of constantly trying to change reality to match our thoughts, we can learn to accept reality as it “is.” By doing this we can experience unimaginable freedom and joy. Out of this thought she developed a powerful method of inquiry called “The Work.” This process allowed a suicidal bed-ridden Katie to become filled with love for everything life brings.
Katie’s insight into the mind is consistent with leading-edge research in cognitive neuroscience, and The Work has been compared to the Socratic dialogue, Buddhist teachings, and twelve-step programs.
What Is, Is
We suffer when we try to act on thoughts or beliefs that contradict what is reality. Unfortunately most of us have countless thoughts like this every day. “People should be nicer to me,” “I should be more successful,” “My son or daughter’s drug addiction is my fault,” “I will die if I do not use drugs” “I should be thinner, taller, stronger, smarter, etc.” These thoughts are our way of desiring reality to be different than it is. The work is not about giving up, never changing and accepting a life a misery and despair. Recognizing the need for change and making that change is healthy. Viewing ourselves, our life, and the world for something other than it is right now at this very moment, only causes stress, anxiety and depression.
What is more empowering “I wish I did not have a drug addiction” or “I have a drug addiction; what can I do now? The Work teaches us not to argue with what we believe should or should not have happened. Just because we think something shouldn’t have happened does not change the fact that it did; and no amount of wishing will change that fact. Accepting reality allows us to let go of unhealthy inner struggles, and defeating dialog. No one wants bad things to happen, but the truth is that they do. How is it helpful to try to deny it or mentally argue with reality? We know better, yet we constantly do it, because we don’t know how to stop.
Staying in Our Own Business
According to Katie there are three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours, and God’s. She says “For me, the word God means “reality.” Reality is God, because it rules. Anything that’s out of my control, your control, and everyone else’s control, I call that God’s business.
A lot of stress is the result of mentally living outside of our own business. When a person thinks, “To be happy, they need to lose some weight, they should wear nicer clothes, or they need to take better care of themselves,” They are in your business. When a person worries about poverty, war, hurricanes and earthquakes, how or when they will die, they are in God’s business. When someone is mentally in your business or in God’s business, the effect is separation. According to Katie, “I noticed this early in 1986. When I mentally went into my mother’s business, for example, with a thought like “My mother should understand me,” I immediately experienced a feeling of loneliness. And I realized that every time in my life that I had felt hurt or lonely, I had been in someone else’s business.”
When a person is mentally living someone else’s life, they are failing to live their own. This keeps them from being present in their own life. The result: they are left separate from themselves wondering why their life doesn’t work. This is common with people who suffer from addiction. They are so busy with everyone else’s business that they fail to take care of themselves. Speaking about this Katie says, “To think that I know what’s best for anyone else is to be out of my business. Even in the name of love, it is pure arrogance, and the result is tension, anxiety, and fear. If you understand the three kinds of business enough to stay in your own business, it could free your life in a way that you can’t even imagine.”
