New Relationships in Recovery
Forming a new love relationship can be the most exciting time of our lives. But in early recovery, within the first year after use, it can be dangerous.
Working as a therapist in a Utah addiction treatment center, I have seen with my own eyes what the research has already told us. Statistically, if you start a new love relationship in the first year of recovery, you greatly increase your risk of relapsing.
Why is that? It doesn’t seem fair that once you turn over a new leaf and start a new life for yourself, you have to wait to start a new relationship, but if you think about it, it makes a lot of sense.
First of all, your brain is making tremendous physical recovery in the first year. Brain scans show substantial brain activity improvement slowly taking place over the first year. Accordingly, within that first year, the brain is far more vulnerable to relapse.
Secondly, you have just begun to know yourself as an individual in recovery, instead of an active addict. How can you cement your personal development if you get too quickly wrapped up in the excitement of a new relationship? Most fare better in relationships when they first focus on themselves and learn to feel good about themselves, without a significant other.
What about people who are already in committed relationships? For these recovering addicts, the recommendation is different because new relationships come with intense emotional highs and lows, while established relationships can be more familiar and comfortable.
Whether the emotions are very positive or very negative, the feelings involved with new love relationships are strong enough to create stress on the brain. Stress is one of the greatest triggers for relapse.
Many addicts struggle a low self-esteem as they begin recovery. It is important to learn to love yourself, care for yourself, and set your sights a little higher than you used to. If you wait to start a new relationship until after you’ve achieved one year in recovery, you will improve not only your odds of staying in recovery, but in staying in the relationship as well. To learn more or schedule a counseling session with one of our therapists call 1-877-593-6777.
One Comment
Kameryn / 02 Jul 2011 / 2:56 pm